I saw a documentary some weeks ago, about David Beckham going to LA Galaxy, and what it would take for him to succeed. There was also an interview with a guy — I don’t recall his name, but I think he was a journalist — who was confident that Becks would fail, mainly due to all the problems Americans seem to have with soccer:

• There aren’t a lot of goals. Americans like lots of goals.
• Soccer is played with the feet. Americans like to use their hands.

I think there was one more, but I don’t remember it, and what I want to do is focus on his second point: Americans like to use their hands. And then it struck me, only in America can a game where the only foot-to-ball contact is the field goals (and the rare use of the foot to kick the ball forward), be called football.